Welcome to feis dad

Hello, my name is Matt. I have a daughter ... no, make that two daughters ... who LOVE Irish Dance.

There. I admitted it. I’ve come clean.

It's the first step in recognizing I have a problem.

Did I say problem? Well, maybe that’s not quite right.

It’s more like a crisis of epic proportions.

If you’ve got a daughter in novice, prizewinner or championship, you know what I mean. Don’t worry, if you’re just starting this ride, you’ll find out soon enough.

If you don't know what a feis is. you're on the wrong blog. If you do know what a feis is and like it, you're on the wrong blog. If the thought of going to a feis makes you feel queasy, you're in the right place.

So, you're supposed to be here, now what?

Take a look at my first post, titled: Feis Dad Syndrome.

See if you've developed this terrible condition.

If you've got it, don't despair. There is help. I may not offer any right now, but don't lose hope, I'll get to it eventually.

Above all, I am looking forward to your comments, funny stories and helpful suggestions.

Thanks for joining me.

-- feis dad

Blog Posts

The following are posts. Please read, laugh and comment.

-feis dad

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Announcing The Celtic Crusader—the world’s first Irish dancing super hero

So … you’ve already seen Iron Man, The Hulk and The Dark Knight movies? Thought they were fairly exciting? Well, you ain’t seen NOTHING yet!

Enter The Celtic Crusader—the world’s first Irish dancing superhero. She’s twelve years old, wears an obnoxiously bright dress and fights evil one dance at a time.

And she’s got a website and on-line comic book to boot! You can visit her at http://www.celticcrusader.com/ (or by clicking the link on the new links section to the right). Her website contains information about CC (that’s what I call her), her super powers, enemies and her very first adventure, titled, A Case of Stage Fright! which is found by clicking on her picture on the My Adventures page.

So, grab your wives and daughters and join me in welcoming CC into our hearts, you’ll be glad you did!

--feis dad

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Big Dog

I think I've made a mistake in my previous posts. They were all about Irish Dancing. I guess when the blog's about being a feis dad, that's what you'd expect. BUT, being a feis dad isn't just about Irish Dance. Obviously, we are interested in things other than Irish Dance (let's just say it's not number one on our list).

Given that, I will begin posting items I (as a feis dad) find interesting or cool. I would also ask for other feis dads to send me items of interest to post.

Okay, now to Big Dog. I was sent this link by a friend. Being an engineer, I thought this was really cool.

Here's a link to Boston Dynamics' robot called Big Dog ...

http://www.bostondynamics.com/content/sec.php?section=BigDog

Enjoy.

--feis dad

Sunday, July 13, 2008

feis dad video: a lesson in feis etiquette

Here’s a video regarding what NOT to do during a feis. Comments on the video are welcome as long as they don’t involve my acting, photography, editing or directing abilities (which I have none :-).

Enjoy.

--feis dad


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It could be worse

It’s late Sunday night. You’re driving home after a long day of feis-ing. The accordion music won’t stop echoing through your brain. The kids are cranky. The wife exhausted. You missed the game in which your team scored the most points in the history of the NFL. And tomorrow, you’ve got to pull a double shift just to pay for all of this fun.

Bleary eyed, you stop at a gas station for the last fill up before making it home. As you watch the gas pump bill of sale spin faster than a Las Vegas slot machine, you catch sight of the man across the pump from you.

His shoulders are slumped, face drawn, eyes hollow and empty. You recognize the look immediately—FDS.

Another feis dad!?

But wait, something’s different about him. The sheer and utter hopelessness in his eyes goes beyond what you’ve seen from other feis dads.

You wonder what could cause such misery and pain?

Then you spot it … the one thing that has sucked more men’s souls dry than disco music, chick flicks and 2 for 1 shoe sales at Dillard’s combined …

A horse.

In less than a second your eyes take in the guy’s entire story. He’s a horse dad. Driving his big, gas guzzling truck (with an even bigger horse trailer) back from a horse show with his wife and daughter.

You know you shouldn’t, and you feel bad about it, but you can’t help yourself from breaking into a knowing grin—someone’s got it worse than you!

You can feel the guy’s pain, because you used to be a horse dad. And as much as you complain about being a feis dad, you know that being a horse dad can be 1,000 times worse.

You think back to before your daughter started Irish Dance. She was no different than every other girl between the ages of 2 days to 116 years old—she was infatuated with horses.

“A pony!” she would cry every time she saw a horse. Or a cow. Or a dog. Or a brown car. Or anything that was larger than a quarter and smaller than a cruise ship. It was ponies and horses, 24/7, with no holidays off for good behavior.

She did that smile thing and before you could see your therapist, you bought a horse, truck and trailer, and gazzilions of dollars in equipment and show gear—all for a child who had just started using the “big girl’s” potty.

Remembering the two years of horse dad torment, you thank your lucky four-leaf clover that your daughter switched to Irish dance.

For all those feis dads out there thinking they’ve got it bad, here’s how it can be worse. Much worse.

Think the solo dress is expensive? That ain’t nothing compared to what you’re going to shell out to compete in the horse show circuit. Here’s a quick breakdown:

  1. Horse. Yep, gotta have one (or two, possibly three and why not four?) of those. A cheap show horse will run you about ten grand. Middle of the road is twenty to forty thousand. And if you’re going to get something good, go ahead and start selling your internal organs now.
  2. Truck and trailer. How the heck are you going to get to the horse show without a truck and trailer? Ride? Not hardly. An inexpensive two-horse trailer will set you back anywhere from $5K to $10K. Then, there are the nice ones which not only haul your horse, but will house all of your family as well. These “live-in” trailers can actually save you money since you can sleep right next to your beloved horse at the show (flies, horse poop, dirt and all), except you STILL have to pay for a stall for the horse since THEY aren’t allowed to stay in the trailer—only your poor soul. You don’t have to spend money for a hotel room. Yep, just in case you didn’t have enough of the horse during the day, you can sleep in the horse trailer right next to your best bud. Too bad these puppies cost more than you make in five years.
  3. Tack. Saddle, bridle, bits, brushes, pads, fly masks, halters, combs, etc. All this little stuff can add up big time. For example, a nice saddle can cost you about as much as a solo dress and it can’t even be cut up and used for garage rags once your daughter is done with it.
  4. Show clothes. These are about as gaudy as solo dresses and only slightly less expensive.
  5. Food. It’s cheaper just to feed the horse dollar bills.
  6. Vet bills. Enough said.
  7. All of the concussions, broken arms, legs and ribs. And those are just your injuries from loading and unloading a thousand pound animal who doesn’t really want to go for a trailer ride.
  8. Hauling all of this stuff. You think your daughter’s dress and make-up bags are bad? At least you don’t need an extra trailer to haul it.
  9. Feis’ can be … well, I’ll just go ahead and say it … a little boring, at least for feis dads. But you ain’t seen true boredom until you’ve gone to a horse show. Imagine horses (sometimes with people on their backs) walking in a circle. Around and around and around and around and around and around and around. That’s what they do! Granted, sometimes they might do something exciting like change direction, or go from a walk to a trot, but that’s about it. What about the horse jumping shows, you ask? Aren’t they exciting? Nope. Just because people and horses get maimed on a regular basis, doesn’t make it exciting. It’s still just a horse and rider going fairly slowly around and around (maybe even over some jumps). Isn’t that like NASCAR, you ask? Nope. In NASCAR it’s a car and driver going around and around. What’s the difference, you ask? Didn’t you see the word car was italicized? And the cars all have these cool paint jobs (except Dale Jarrett’s UPS car) and they go really fast and make lots of cool noises like vroooom and there’s beer and it’s loud and there are cool cars.
  10. Daily maintenance. Solo dresses are easy to take care of … at least compared to horses. There’s no need to actually feed your solo dress on a daily basis. If you want, you can zip it up in its dress bag and not pay any attention to it at all for six months. It won’t care. Try doing that with your horse. Not only will it be REALLY mad, it will be dead. So, you’ve got to feed and take care of your horse on a daily basis—or pay someone to do it for you. And when you go on vacation? A horse sitter is much harder to find than a dress sitter.

    So, the next time you’re on your way to a feis and feeling sorry for yourself, think about the guy pulling the horse trailer you’re passing on the interstate.

    Smile to yourself and repeat the following mantra three times:

    “It’s not so bad, I could be a horse dad.”

    I’m sure I’ve forgotten much more than I’ve listed above (my therapist says one day I’ll remember all those repressed memories—hopefully, I’ll be dead by then), I would love to hear from all those past and current feis dads (and moms) about their experiences and comparisons to Irish dancing.

    --feis dad

Friday, July 4, 2008

feis dad quiz!

Tired of being labeled an Irish Dance moron? It’s time to step up and show that your lack of enthusiasm for everything Irish doesn’t mean you don’t know the difference between a jig and a reel. Come on, every bass fisherman worth a hill of beans knows you hook the fish with a jig and then you use the reel to bring ‘em in (they have lakes in Ireland, right?).

So, take the feis dad quiz and show the IDMM the depth of your wisdom. I’ll post a new question about every week and post the previous question’s results and the correct answer.

Your family might be surprised how knowledgeable you really are … or maybe not. But they won’t know if you don’t take the quiz!

Remember, there is only one correct answer—the right one.

--feis dad

A serious message from feis dad about being a feis dad

This blog is not to be taken seriously. It’s meant to take a good-natured poke at how Irish Dance affects fathers (something many wives and daughters may not think about).

The reality of the situation is that most dads just don’t get the Irish Dance thing. It’s like asking our wives and daughters why they don’t throw high fives every time our favorite player hits a three-pointer in the playoffs.

I love my daughters, but I just can’t sit through twelve hours of accordion music at feis’ once a month. It is beyond me. And I truly believe that forcing me to do so would make me begin to resent their activity, which none of us want.

BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t support our daughters in my own way.

That’s exactly what this blog is about. For good or bad, THIS is part of my support for them.

Some may say I’m not a good father if I don’t go to each and every performance or feis. But I believe both my daughters know I think what they are doing is important and good for them even though it’s hard for me to spell feis or oreach … orack … that big national feis thing.

My point in all of this is that although there are some things we just won’t do, I believe real feis dads need to ensure they:

Support their daughter’s (or son’s) love of Irish Dance.

Take interest in how they are doing.

Are excited when they perform well and move up.

Comfort them when they don’t.

Support their activity as much as we can within realistic financial and family obligations

Although we may not understand the specifics (like the difference is between a slip jig and a reel) we take an interest in the general idea

We tell our children we are proud of them every chance we get

Although we make light of some of the aspects of Irish Dance, they are never mean spirited or hurtful

We ensure that our children know what they are doing is important to us

Do what dads do best: build things—practice dance floors, sound systems, etc.

Take them to practices and performances when possible (even if it means missing part of the game, but maybe not if it’s the playoffs).

Again, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously.

No one is perfect. Not even feis dads. If you can’t laugh about it (or about yourself) then you’re missing out.

--feis dad