Welcome to feis dad

Hello, my name is Matt. I have a daughter ... no, make that two daughters ... who LOVE Irish Dance.

There. I admitted it. I’ve come clean.

It's the first step in recognizing I have a problem.

Did I say problem? Well, maybe that’s not quite right.

It’s more like a crisis of epic proportions.

If you’ve got a daughter in novice, prizewinner or championship, you know what I mean. Don’t worry, if you’re just starting this ride, you’ll find out soon enough.

If you don't know what a feis is. you're on the wrong blog. If you do know what a feis is and like it, you're on the wrong blog. If the thought of going to a feis makes you feel queasy, you're in the right place.

So, you're supposed to be here, now what?

Take a look at my first post, titled: Feis Dad Syndrome.

See if you've developed this terrible condition.

If you've got it, don't despair. There is help. I may not offer any right now, but don't lose hope, I'll get to it eventually.

Above all, I am looking forward to your comments, funny stories and helpful suggestions.

Thanks for joining me.

-- feis dad

Blog Posts

The following are posts. Please read, laugh and comment.

-feis dad

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A true feis dad

We all go to the performances and fesiana. We watch our sons and daughters dance the slip jig and reel. We listen to the fiddle, flute or accordion play the same Irish music over and over and over.

How do we cope? Each of us has our own way. Feis moms talk about the dancing, the music, the dresses, the wigs, the makeup, the socks, the shoes, the shoelaces, the type of leather making up the shoes, typical wear patterns of shoes, and well, you get the picture. For many feis moms, these are truly social events. And by social event, I mean talking. A lot of talking.

What about feis dads? We don’t have the same defense mechanisms as our better halves. We don’t do much talking. Some of us do a lot of sitting, staring straight ahead with a deer in the headlights look. Others bring a book. Or borrow our children’s Nintendo DS. Still others look for a different means of escape.

Here’s an untouched picture from a typical performance.


See the beautiful dancers in their performance dresses? Notice anything else about the picture? Look way off to the left. Still don’t see it?

I’ll give you a hint: see the red circle.


Now, what’s so special about this guy? Nothing. He’s just a typical feis dad. Enjoying his daughter’s performance. A feis dad poster boy.

But let’s not dismiss him so quickly. We need to take a closer look at this feis dad champion.


- He’s dressed for the occasion in shorts, plaid shirt, white socks and work boots. Not only is this high-fashion, but comfort is paramount for feis dads
- The flash of the camera seems to have caught him by surprise as he tries to go unnoticed, sort of like the famous picture of Bigfoot in the woods. As you can also see, I think our feis dad is beginning to look a lot like Bigfoot!

- Also, notice this wild feis dad has a smile on his face.

I bet you were thinking all feis dads wear frowns at feisana. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We smile a lot. When our children dance. When they actually place in one of those dances. When it’s time for lunch. During the first feis dances. When we beat our son’s high score on Grand Theft Auto on his PSP. When it’s time to leave for the day. And when the bar opens.

Which brings me to the last interesting item in this picture. If you haven’t seen it already, you’ll notice something else interesting about our heroic feis dad. Hint: see the other red circle. Come on, get your glasses out already!




By that sly grin on his face, I don’t believe that’s lemonade in his glass. So here’s to you, feis dad superstar, defender of our jaded ideals, I take my hat off and raise my own barley pop in salute. You are a true feis dad!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Grateful Feis Dad

During the last feis I attended (no, it wasn’t last year!), a feis dad approached me with an idea. We’re all dads, right? And we’re grateful too! Grateful our sons and daughters dance so beautifully. You thought I was going to say something bad about Irish dance, didn’t you? Come on, I’m not always cold and mean.

Anyway, he had a great idea … something about grateful dads and music. Well, here it is …




I think it sums up a dad's feis experience in one picture, don’t you? Okay, so I’m a little cold and mean.

Most of the older dad’s like me will get this, the younger ones … well, you missed some fairly crazy decades.

Thanks for the great idea!

--feis dad

A serious message from feis dad about being a feis dad

This blog is not to be taken seriously. It’s meant to take a good-natured poke at how Irish Dance affects fathers (something many wives and daughters may not think about).

The reality of the situation is that most dads just don’t get the Irish Dance thing. It’s like asking our wives and daughters why they don’t throw high fives every time our favorite player hits a three-pointer in the playoffs.

I love my daughters, but I just can’t sit through twelve hours of accordion music at feis’ once a month. It is beyond me. And I truly believe that forcing me to do so would make me begin to resent their activity, which none of us want.

BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t support our daughters in my own way.

That’s exactly what this blog is about. For good or bad, THIS is part of my support for them.

Some may say I’m not a good father if I don’t go to each and every performance or feis. But I believe both my daughters know I think what they are doing is important and good for them even though it’s hard for me to spell feis or oreach … orack … that big national feis thing.

My point in all of this is that although there are some things we just won’t do, I believe real feis dads need to ensure they:

Support their daughter’s (or son’s) love of Irish Dance.

Take interest in how they are doing.

Are excited when they perform well and move up.

Comfort them when they don’t.

Support their activity as much as we can within realistic financial and family obligations

Although we may not understand the specifics (like the difference is between a slip jig and a reel) we take an interest in the general idea

We tell our children we are proud of them every chance we get

Although we make light of some of the aspects of Irish Dance, they are never mean spirited or hurtful

We ensure that our children know what they are doing is important to us

Do what dads do best: build things—practice dance floors, sound systems, etc.

Take them to practices and performances when possible (even if it means missing part of the game, but maybe not if it’s the playoffs).

Again, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously.

No one is perfect. Not even feis dads. If you can’t laugh about it (or about yourself) then you’re missing out.

--feis dad