Welcome to feis dad

Hello, my name is Matt. I have a daughter ... no, make that two daughters ... who LOVE Irish Dance.

There. I admitted it. I’ve come clean.

It's the first step in recognizing I have a problem.

Did I say problem? Well, maybe that’s not quite right.

It’s more like a crisis of epic proportions.

If you’ve got a daughter in novice, prizewinner or championship, you know what I mean. Don’t worry, if you’re just starting this ride, you’ll find out soon enough.

If you don't know what a feis is. you're on the wrong blog. If you do know what a feis is and like it, you're on the wrong blog. If the thought of going to a feis makes you feel queasy, you're in the right place.

So, you're supposed to be here, now what?

Take a look at my first post, titled: Feis Dad Syndrome.

See if you've developed this terrible condition.

If you've got it, don't despair. There is help. I may not offer any right now, but don't lose hope, I'll get to it eventually.

Above all, I am looking forward to your comments, funny stories and helpful suggestions.

Thanks for joining me.

-- feis dad

Blog Posts

The following are posts. Please read, laugh and comment.

-feis dad

Friday, December 11, 2009

Proof of Jessica

I've received a stack of email higher than Lyndsay Lohan after a night out partying asking for proof regarding Jessica Simpson. Feis dad readers found it difficult to believe that 1) she can sing, 2) she was once a brilliant physics student and 3) she lost that brilliance. Curiously, no one had trouble believing I had once been her backup dancer.

I'll address each question individually, starting with the hardest first.

1) Can she sing? Well, that's a matter of opinion. Unfortunately for Jessica, the majority of the opinion says "no." Those offering a different view tend to be adolescent boys, unmarried men and feis dads. This being said, I can not offer any substantial proof that she can actually sing. I have seen her perform and she looks good doing it, but I haven't a clue as to whether the words escaping her mouth isn't anything more than an awful screeching.

2) Was Jessica once a brilliant physics student? Yes. When I met her in college, she was on top of her class. She was acing all her tests and all her professors loved her (she was a favorite among the TA's). Here's one of the many examples of how she could easily solve a physics problem.



Jessica nails the test: A+

3) Did Jessica lose her brilliance? Most definitely. Once she began "singing" and dating Nick, her brain power dropped faster than the stock market did two years ago. Here are some of her test results (which are now infamous on the internet) showing just how low she had become.












As you can see, Jessica no longer had the brain power to solve complex mathematical problems, or talk without sounding like a complete idiot. For some reason, she also kept signing her name as "Peter" which no one could ever figure out why.

What does all of this mean? I haven't a clue. I can't seem to put two comprehensive sentences together at a time (though I blame my loss of cognition on over exposure to accordion music and curly wigs).

-- feis dad

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

feis dad confession # 2

Due to the overwhelming number of questions emailed to me regarding the last post, I thought it might be prudent to provide the answers:

1. Yes, it is true. Although I’m ashamed to admit it, I did “experiment” while I was in college. And on more than one occasion.

As many of you know, I attended an engineering school in which 98% of the students were male and 1% were female. The other 1% could never be determined. Anyway, I was a nerd who felt awkward around women. So … naturally, I “experimented.” Usually, this was done during class with other students and a TA.

My first taste of experimenting was during Chemistry 101 lab when I conducted numerous experiments on fluids, gases and solids. I also took a materials class where I experimented with concrete, steel and wood.

Being more of a theoretical student I wasn’t good at all this experimenting and my lab reports really stunk.


Mad Scientist feis dad

And that’s about all the “experimenting” I’ve done. I’m glad to finally get that off my chest.

What? Come, on. Were you expecting something else?

2. Yes, I admit that a long time ago, Jessica Simpson and I were more than just friends.

We met while I was in college after a long day experimenting (see above) in my Chemistry lab. I bumped into her at the engineering library. She was studying quantum physics and we hit it right off.

I enjoyed the depth of her understanding of the origins of the universe while she liked the way I looked in my T-shirt and my graceful way of moving.

As you can imagine, one thing led to another and yep … you guessed it. I became her backup dancer when she decided to drop advanced physics for a “singing” career. We had a great time dancing together until NICK came along. And we all know how well that worked out.


Jessica and feis dad -- perfect dance partners

We’re still friends, and sometimes she calls me to discuss higher order equations, but that’s about it.


Anyway, there you have it. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it (at least until I dream up something better).

--feis dad

Monday, December 7, 2009

Feis Dad Confession # 1

Okay, Okay, I can't keep this to myself anymore. Now, with the fourth possible woman coming clean on having an affair with Tiger Woods, it's time for my shameful admission. Sometimes you just have to admit to something so you can be free from the guilt.

I've known Tiger Woods for about five years. Jessica Simpson, another close friend of mine, introduced us and we've been best buds ever since.


Jessica Simpson, Tiger Woods and Feis Dad having a great time together

And it's been a good five years. You know, when he comes to play golf, he calls me up and we hit the bars for a good time. He talks about golf, I talk about curly wigs. All of which makes it even harder to admit that, I, feis dad, have NOT had an affair with Tiger Woods. From the past few days headlines, I guess I'm one of the few.


--fes dad


A serious message from feis dad about being a feis dad

This blog is not to be taken seriously. It’s meant to take a good-natured poke at how Irish Dance affects fathers (something many wives and daughters may not think about).

The reality of the situation is that most dads just don’t get the Irish Dance thing. It’s like asking our wives and daughters why they don’t throw high fives every time our favorite player hits a three-pointer in the playoffs.

I love my daughters, but I just can’t sit through twelve hours of accordion music at feis’ once a month. It is beyond me. And I truly believe that forcing me to do so would make me begin to resent their activity, which none of us want.

BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t support our daughters in my own way.

That’s exactly what this blog is about. For good or bad, THIS is part of my support for them.

Some may say I’m not a good father if I don’t go to each and every performance or feis. But I believe both my daughters know I think what they are doing is important and good for them even though it’s hard for me to spell feis or oreach … orack … that big national feis thing.

My point in all of this is that although there are some things we just won’t do, I believe real feis dads need to ensure they:

Support their daughter’s (or son’s) love of Irish Dance.

Take interest in how they are doing.

Are excited when they perform well and move up.

Comfort them when they don’t.

Support their activity as much as we can within realistic financial and family obligations

Although we may not understand the specifics (like the difference is between a slip jig and a reel) we take an interest in the general idea

We tell our children we are proud of them every chance we get

Although we make light of some of the aspects of Irish Dance, they are never mean spirited or hurtful

We ensure that our children know what they are doing is important to us

Do what dads do best: build things—practice dance floors, sound systems, etc.

Take them to practices and performances when possible (even if it means missing part of the game, but maybe not if it’s the playoffs).

Again, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously.

No one is perfect. Not even feis dads. If you can’t laugh about it (or about yourself) then you’re missing out.

--feis dad