As all of you should know by now, I haven’t a clue. I’m a typical feis dad. It’s not that we don’t care, we do. It’s just that our brains can’t grasp all the finer details of Irish dance. Okay, truth be told, most of us even have problems with the big picture items.
Recently, I was talking with my family about which dances my daughter should be dancing at the next feis (well, they were talking, I was trying to listen and understand) and it amazed even me how much I didn’t know about something my daughters have been involved in for three years. Or has it been five? Maybe it’s only been a few months. Heck, I don’t know…
What do I know? I know there are two groups of dances. One is done with a soft shoe; the other is done with a shoe that makes all that darn racket. I believe these shoes are called the steel lined, concrete filled, noisy, loud, obnoxious shoes, or in short, the noisy, loud, obnoxious shoes. But that’s just a guess on my part.
Other than that, the names and distinctions between different kinds of dances somehow eludes me. The only dances I know the names of are St. Patty’s Day, a jig and a slip reel. Or are they called a reel and slip jig? Or was it a slip pig? Maybe a reelly slippery pig. Ha! Now that would be a fun dance to watch!
Oh, who knows. Clearly not me.
But as bad as that is, even if I knew the NAMES of the dances, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. When I watch my daughters dance, no matter how hard I try, I still can’t tell the difference between a reel and a jig. But that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Men just aren’t that observant when it comes to those kinds of things.
For example, most men don’t notice when their wife gets her hair done. Not even if she gets 6 inches chopped off, a perm and is now blonde. My wife gets upset when she has to tell me these things. And to tell you the truth, I don’t really know if she’s pulling my leg or not. Did she really get a haircut? I can’t remember what her hair looked like twenty minutes ago, never mind yesterday. When she tells me it used to be long, straight and black, I just have to shrug and believe her.
It took a friend of mine FOUR DAYS to notice that his wife and kids had taken a vacation without him. And that’s only because my wife called me from Disneyland and I was still at home. I’d wondered why I’d been able to watch sports on TV without anyone complaining lately.
This same guy, however, spotted a typo in the second significant digit to a baseball player’s ERA within two seconds of it being displayed on ESPN’s Sports Center. Go figure.
What’s my point in all this you ask? Good question as I’ve already forgotten.
Ten minutes later and after asking wife for point of blog post...
Oh yeah, it’s about making the dances interesting to feis dads so we can remember them. If you want a feis dad to pay attention, the dances must be something he can relate to. Here are a few suggestions:
THE JACKIE CHAN JIG: This dance would be full of awesome karate, tae kwon do, jujitsu, ninja (and any other cool Japanese word) moves that really kick butt. Also, the dancers would have to perform while speaking cheesy dialogue which no one understands.
THE CLEAN YOUR ROOM SET: This dance mimics all the moves that are made when one cleans their room (which of course none of our daughters know). With time and lots of practice, they will learn moves like the Pick Up Your Dirty Clothes Kick, Take Out the Smelly Trash Cut, the Sweep the Messy Floor Jump and the Throw Out The Old Pizza Box Twirl. Although this dance is a parental favorite, teenagers loath it and you’ll be lucky to see them perform it once a year.
THE FISHING REEL: This dance involves sitting in an uncomfortable folding chair for hours on end while waiting for freakin’ anything to bite. Dancers will have to master the following positions: slouched in chair, sleeping in chair, scratching butt in chair, drinking beer in chair and finally folding up chair and going home empty handed. But it’s not all static poses. One lucky dancer will actually get to perform the “reel”. This is done by furiously acting like she’s reeling in the BIG ONE. After ten minutes of this she realizes it was just an old boot, spends ten minutes furiously swearing, ten minutes furiously packing everything back up in the truck and, finally, ten minutes furiously lying to all the guys down at the pub about the BIG ONE that got away.
Lastly, this is for adult Irish dancers only: THE POLE DANCE is anything that involves a pole, loud music and enough cigarette smoke to choke the state of New Jersey.
Yep, if a typical feis had these dances, we might just remember more about them. But, then again, maybe not, I can’t even seem to remember where I put my keys when I’m getting ready for work, or if I put my pants on. Either of which makes showing up to work a dicey situation.
Welcome to feis dad
Hello, my name is Matt. I have a daughter ... no, make that two daughters ... who LOVE Irish Dance.
There. I admitted it. I’ve come clean.
It's the first step in recognizing I have a problem.
Did I say problem? Well, maybe that’s not quite right.
It’s more like a crisis of epic proportions.
If you’ve got a daughter in novice, prizewinner or championship, you know what I mean. Don’t worry, if you’re just starting this ride, you’ll find out soon enough.
If you don't know what a feis is. you're on the wrong blog. If you do know what a feis is and like it, you're on the wrong blog. If the thought of going to a feis makes you feel queasy, you're in the right place.
So, you're supposed to be here, now what?
Take a look at my first post, titled: Feis Dad Syndrome.
See if you've developed this terrible condition.
If you've got it, don't despair. There is help. I may not offer any right now, but don't lose hope, I'll get to it eventually.
Above all, I am looking forward to your comments, funny stories and helpful suggestions.
Thanks for joining me.
-- feis dad
There. I admitted it. I’ve come clean.
It's the first step in recognizing I have a problem.
Did I say problem? Well, maybe that’s not quite right.
It’s more like a crisis of epic proportions.
If you’ve got a daughter in novice, prizewinner or championship, you know what I mean. Don’t worry, if you’re just starting this ride, you’ll find out soon enough.
If you don't know what a feis is. you're on the wrong blog. If you do know what a feis is and like it, you're on the wrong blog. If the thought of going to a feis makes you feel queasy, you're in the right place.
So, you're supposed to be here, now what?
Take a look at my first post, titled: Feis Dad Syndrome.
See if you've developed this terrible condition.
If you've got it, don't despair. There is help. I may not offer any right now, but don't lose hope, I'll get to it eventually.
Above all, I am looking forward to your comments, funny stories and helpful suggestions.
Thanks for joining me.
-- feis dad
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A serious message from feis dad about being a feis dad
This blog is not to be taken seriously. It’s meant to take a good-natured poke at how Irish Dance affects fathers (something many wives and daughters may not think about).
The reality of the situation is that most dads just don’t get the Irish Dance thing. It’s like asking our wives and daughters why they don’t throw high fives every time our favorite player hits a three-pointer in the playoffs.
I love my daughters, but I just can’t sit through twelve hours of accordion music at feis’ once a month. It is beyond me. And I truly believe that forcing me to do so would make me begin to resent their activity, which none of us want.
BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t support our daughters in my own way.
That’s exactly what this blog is about. For good or bad, THIS is part of my support for them.
Some may say I’m not a good father if I don’t go to each and every performance or feis. But I believe both my daughters know I think what they are doing is important and good for them even though it’s hard for me to spell feis or oreach … orack … that big national feis thing.
My point in all of this is that although there are some things we just won’t do, I believe real feis dads need to ensure they:
Support their daughter’s (or son’s) love of Irish Dance.
Take interest in how they are doing.
Are excited when they perform well and move up.
Comfort them when they don’t.
Support their activity as much as we can within realistic financial and family obligations
Although we may not understand the specifics (like the difference is between a slip jig and a reel) we take an interest in the general idea
We tell our children we are proud of them every chance we get
Although we make light of some of the aspects of Irish Dance, they are never mean spirited or hurtful
We ensure that our children know what they are doing is important to us
Do what dads do best: build things—practice dance floors, sound systems, etc.
Take them to practices and performances when possible (even if it means missing part of the game, but maybe not if it’s the playoffs).
Again, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously.
No one is perfect. Not even feis dads. If you can’t laugh about it (or about yourself) then you’re missing out.
--feis dad
The reality of the situation is that most dads just don’t get the Irish Dance thing. It’s like asking our wives and daughters why they don’t throw high fives every time our favorite player hits a three-pointer in the playoffs.
I love my daughters, but I just can’t sit through twelve hours of accordion music at feis’ once a month. It is beyond me. And I truly believe that forcing me to do so would make me begin to resent their activity, which none of us want.
BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t support our daughters in my own way.
That’s exactly what this blog is about. For good or bad, THIS is part of my support for them.
Some may say I’m not a good father if I don’t go to each and every performance or feis. But I believe both my daughters know I think what they are doing is important and good for them even though it’s hard for me to spell feis or oreach … orack … that big national feis thing.
My point in all of this is that although there are some things we just won’t do, I believe real feis dads need to ensure they:
Support their daughter’s (or son’s) love of Irish Dance.
Take interest in how they are doing.
Are excited when they perform well and move up.
Comfort them when they don’t.
Support their activity as much as we can within realistic financial and family obligations
Although we may not understand the specifics (like the difference is between a slip jig and a reel) we take an interest in the general idea
We tell our children we are proud of them every chance we get
Although we make light of some of the aspects of Irish Dance, they are never mean spirited or hurtful
We ensure that our children know what they are doing is important to us
Do what dads do best: build things—practice dance floors, sound systems, etc.
Take them to practices and performances when possible (even if it means missing part of the game, but maybe not if it’s the playoffs).
Again, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously.
No one is perfect. Not even feis dads. If you can’t laugh about it (or about yourself) then you’re missing out.
--feis dad
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